Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Hard Beds Suck Ass and I believe in God just for today

I sleep on my stomach. I like to feel attached to something so that I don't just float off into the air while I'm sleeping. But there's no place for my boobs on a rock hard mattress. They just flatten out like they do at my yearly mammogram. A mattress needs to have some give so that my boobs are happy instead of being treated like they aren't even there. Or boob holes for me to place them in while I'm sleeping. It's like seatbelts. I hate those things too. They either lay over my boob, showing the world how flat it can get, or slide under it and hold it up like a poorly behaved underwire bra.

But my attention moved onto something else a few minutes ago when I listened to my messages and my ex husband is in the hospital getting a pacemaker today. So just for today I do believe in God. I will be praying all day and not for what you may think I'd be praying for. If you've never had someone chase you around with a knife threatening to cut your stuck wedding ring off your finger, when you'd happily throw it at him, well, you wouldn't understand why I'm heading over to Burlington to protest the unnecessary expense of putting a pacemaker into someone to prolong the time they can torment their ex family. I'm making signs right now. "Economic Responsibility Starts Here!" "Let the Bastard Die!" "Why is the State Paying for This?" "You Could Feed a Nation Instead." If you see this on the local evening news remember that I am not a lunatic.

Now where did I stash that voodoo doll?

1 comment:

Elly said...

Agreed and may I say an impressive blog, I have had problems like that to night after night, not sleeping due to the beds and that, then I discovered air beds they are unique, very comfortable you just sink into them and can sleep easier and better, if your interested see the selection here discount air beds and sleep well, cheers!!