Thursday, December 10, 2009

Slushy Vermont Days

Yes, that was me in my red Christmas Pajamas and non-matching blue winter coat, headed to the dumpster this morning with a leaking bag of trash. Why are there so many people up so early scraping their cars off? At least no one dares to look directly at me. No one says "Good Morning." No one makes eye contact.
That's the way I like it in the ghettos.
I might have also been whistling tunelessless and pulling my pajama pants up cause they kept slipping down. And I didn't want the bottoms to get wet so I'd have to sit around all morning wishing I'd kept them out of the slush.
I think they're slipping down cause my boobs are shrinking.
Yes, we're back to the boobs.
I went off the pill 5 days ago!!! Woo hooo! 5 Hormone Free Days. I'm like an organic cow. I feel okay, a little loopy. That may be normal though for being so close to Christmas, licking Christmas frosting to make sure there was just enough salt in it, and missing Nick. My boobs definitely do hurt though. Everything shrinks back to normal noncomplacent size. Hopefully this will happen with the pudge as well. It would be WRONG to have small boobs and a huge pudge. Maybe I could convince people that my boobs just SANK and joined together.
Anyway, I drove Haley to school in my pajamas and stopped to ask the other girls why the school bus hadn't come yet. I rolled down my window and the sheet of ice that was stuck to it fell in my lap. I am an idiot. So my pant legs are dry but I still need to change.
Obviously I'm much better than yesterday and I think Ellen might be the Queen afterall.

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