Friday, December 18, 2009

This is me, not OWNING IT, yet.


I went to my father's house to do laundry today. Yeah, I know. How old do I have to be before I stop using his hot water? He is starving for conversation, or more like a willing victim to tell his every thought to--from the draining of carbohydrates in the maple sugaring process, to his relative's insanity, to how much firewood he's using now that he's home all the time. I enjoy this time with him, but today I had something really important to say and it was hard to just throw it in there after hearing "yeah, the dog hasn't had a seizure in a while."
That's great Dad, but you know that guy who came for Thanksgiving? We're getting married. Yeah, he'll think I'm marrying the dog and Nick has seizures sometimes.
So I snuck my way around that question, just like I sneak my way around anything I have to say that's important but the other person might not like it..
"Will you watch the girls while I go on a trip in February?"
Sure, sure he would. He calls me just to take them anyway when he's bored.
And later on, after hearing about the company watch that he should go pick up, but doesn't really want, and the variability of the price of dish detergent on the Price Is Right, I threw in the real news that he never asked for because he was still trying to understand how the woman on the Lifetime Channel movie was really the daughter of her grandmother's daughter, whom she always called Auntie.
"I'm going out to visit Nick."
I snuck that in there really well because he never even paused to take a breath and instead went through a seed catalogue showing me what he was going to buy for next spring and told me twice that he had started his 65 Chevy truck, that sits in the garage.
So now I can say that I DID TELL HIM that I was marrying the love of my life and moving back to Wyoming next summer, and that he of course is invited to the wedding and that we'll work out how he can take the kids for part of the summers and he can't say I didn't.
It's not that I don't love Nick and I have to hide him. It's just that 5 1/2 month is a long time to be around people who don't want me to move. And I want that ring before I announce anything. It'll make it real and then they won't think I've lost my mind, not completely anyway.

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