Today I HAD to buy my 14 year old a Texas Instrument Graphing Calculator for Advanced Algebra I.
But first I ranted for twenty minutes about how I had to graph on GRAPH PAPER with a PENCIL all the way up to Calculus III at U.V.M. and how all they are teaching kids these days is how to press buttons to get an answer, but never teaching them how to think through anything and how some day what if all the electronic shit we rely on dies for some reason and we have a graphing emergency and how she won't be able to survive because she won't know how to graph the old fashioned way.
Then I went to New Hampshire and bought it. I had no choice. My kid won't be able to graduate and land a job as a hair stylist if I don't spend as much money as her first semester at Cosmetology School on this calculator.
I spent an extra $10 on a warranty for 2 years because this is the same child who lost her pants in the river on her way home from school yesterday. She should be declared a disaster area. I should call FEMA right now and have them buy her the calculator. They would want her to be prepared for that graphing emergency.
So we get it home and I have her scratch her name into it and I put it in a briefcase that has a coded lock and handcuff it to myself because I'm going to follow her around all day to make sure my investment is safe and while I'm doing all this what does she do?
She uses the keys on the calculator to type me a message: "Hi MOM, What's Up In The Hood?"
$119 well spent, I do declare.
For some reason I can't stop swearing in my head.