The Office of Child Supports wants my UNDERSTANDING

I received this notice on Friday. It's taken me this long to stop feeling that pain of profound frustration that causes the crease in my forehead, and to find this at all FUNNY.

"In an effort to help you receive your full child support obligation, the OCS reviewed your child support account with [Dumbass] and found past due child support owed."

OMG, a REVELATION, a DISCOVERY, who KNEW?

He's owed me back child support since a month after I divorced his ass in December of 2003. The amount of arrears only compounds on itself and although I'm not sure of the exact number when the 1% lousy interest is added, I do know that it's about 11,000 + 150 interest EVERY MONTH for the past how many years???

And that is with the lowered amount that doesn't even buy enough toilet paper for 3 teenage girls to wipe wipe their proverbial asses.

There was a little box checked off with an X, something they needed from me in order to grab money he doesn't have BECAUSE he moves from state to state, works for tips, and doesn't have a bank account.

They need me to sign A STATEMENT OF UNDERSTANDING. Everytime I say or read that I use a deep booming voice like a narrator in a commercial, or the voice of God in a movie. It's not a consent to their terms. It's a STATEMENT OF UNDERSTANDING. I signed it although I couldn't read it because it was causing me chest pain. And then I made up my own.

A STATEMENT OF UNDERSTANDING

1. I understand that if I divorce this asshole I will fight for every penny I can get from him and it will cause my death because I will no longer be able to digest anything with any real nutritional value without causing myself painful bloating.
2. I understand that I will have to constantly find out where he is working and supply this information to the OCS because they don't have time to go look for him.
3. I understand that if I take him to court to try to get my child support, the judge will lower the support amount in the hope that he will start paying it. He won't. If it was $5 a month he would still keep it until I could find a way to take it from him using force.
4. I understand it may take OCS 6 years to discover that he owes arrears, when by state law he should be in jail by now, but I need to not appear to be upset about this because then I will look terrible in court when no one from OCS wants to go with me.
5. I understand that he will die before I see much of anything and that I'd better be able to support myself and the children without any help and that I will look like the bad guy when I have to say no all the time and make us live in the ghettos, while he will continue to be allowed to argue in court that I'm a bad mother and not providing for them the way I should.
6. I understand that owing me $20,000 or whatever it is does not have anything to do with his visitation because not paying child support does not mean that he's a bad father. He is a GOOD father and has a GOOD relationship with the kids unless I prove otherwise.

This is what it should have said! I wish them luck in trying to find something to take away from him! Maybe they can take his shiny new PACEMAKER that the state paid for. Repossess the damn thing in order to pay me. I'll take a shiny new pacemaker!!!! I'll hang it on my wall to remind me that I UNDERSTAND.