Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Help! My brain is Imploding: Sanity vs. Love

So in my life two things can't possibly exist at the same time: SANITY and LOVE. A man can't be sane and be madly in love with me at the same time. It just doesn't happen. If he's sane, has a job, doesn't live with his mother, then he doesn't really like me and he eventually bores me with his ambivalence. But if he calls me, takes me out, spends every moment thinking about me then eventually the facade of sanity wears off and I discover he's crazy as a loon. Although I'm not sure how crazy loons are. Where did that saying come from? He's as crazy as Edward Norton's personality in Primal fear, both of them.

So the question then is do they have to be crazy to fall for me? Or would anyone sane find me unattractive? Or are they as good at acting as Edward Norton and Aaron is the real Roy, or Roy is Ed, or maybe I just attract the wrong people because I'm just way too KIND for my own good.

So when a really crazy person doesn't like me, or at least says he hates me after I have to break up 3 times with him, then I don't quite believe him when he says that. Crazy people love me!

The worst part is that when a perfectly sane man says he loves me, I get all suspicious of his sanity. How can that be possible? You must be crazy! What are you talking about? The squareness of a sanity/love combination doesn't fit into the round hole of my brain.

What happens when two competing forces have to occupy the same space?

I drink more wine! Woohooo!

But seriously people, I am a Queen doubter among the cynical masses and I KNOW that it is possible for two people to love each other for years, to carry that with them, and to find each other again. And for both to be completely sane and madly in love. This knowledge is in direct conflict with my entire life experience. I am shocked by what I don't know, which apparently is a WHOLE LOT.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Kristi, Kristi, Kristi.....
This isn't true... you're a good person! The reason there is a disproportionate number of crazies in your life is you're living in the NEK. You are a good, funny, sarcastic, quirky (and I mean that in a good way)person. It sounds to me like you care too much, too soon. Find someone nice.... fall in love, just don't let them know.

For some reason this post reminds me of a Carly Simon Song. Does this mean I'm crazy?