Thursday, September 3, 2009

Dumbassedness is the Word of the Day

I had to sign and hand in one of those Exemption Forms for not wanting my kid to have vaccinations. I think that should about do it as far as my swing to the Hippie left. If I swung any further over I'd be running around naked covered in painted daisies. But no one wants to see that!
The nurse at the highschool said that Haley would have to get the chicken pox vaccine (Varicella) even though she had the chicken pox in 2000. I have no doctor's proof of this because I didn't immediately take her to the doctor's office to expose the entire town, as I probably should have. Because now I am exposed as a Leftist.
But maybe I was then too, because I did what I thought any good mother would do and as soon as I heard the neighbor girl had developed red chicken-shaped spots, I sent Haley right over to play. Then I kept her home in order to infect her sisters and no one else. I didn't even take pictures. Maybe I should have. Would the nurse have taken that as proof??? What if I use a marker and cover her in red spots now and take a picture? A reenactment should be proof enough.
I admit that I did have the option of giving her the vaccine back then. I chose instead to let her go through the rite of passage. Why get a vaccine for something that won't kill you?
So the nurse told me she'd need to get vaccinated anyway. But seeing as I never give the kids something they don't absolutely need (I think out of all of them, Haley is the only one ever to be on antibiotics and it was just once), I told the nurse I refuse to do that. Ooops, there's the old leftist leaking out again.
The doctor looked at me all confused when I asked her what to do. She couldn't sign anything saying Haley had the chicken pox, since she never saw it. I showed her the picture of the reenactment, but she just didn't quite believe Haley looked like she was 5 and some of the spots were too big.
So she told me to find this form online and sign it.
There's a choice on the form of Moral or Religious Exemption. I'm just not sure what YOU'RE A DUMBASS FOR NOT TAKING A MOTHER'S WORD FOR IT--WHY WOULD I LIE? belongs under. Morally I just don't like it when people think I'm lying and it pisses me off. Religiously I don't see how some nurse is like my supreme ruler and can say Haley can't go to school unless I do what she says. Why is it I can't fill out a simple form without writing my own thoughts all over it? I wonder if they just shake their heads and file my forms anyway or share it around the office as the joke of the day. I admit this isn't the first time I haven't stayed within the lines.
Like I said before, I don't fit well on a piece of paper. So I'm making my own exemption category called The Dumbassedness of Bureaucracy and drawing a little box next to it, that I will check in red ink. I DARE them to not accept this!

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