I was thinking about brothers today because I have so many that I feel like if I'm mad at one there are plenty of other ones to take their place. I had dreams of everyone growing up and changing and becoming a close-knit family that revolved around me, the only girl in a world full of brothers, but I guess a more realistic outlook would be Once an Ass, Always an Ass and I am no longer playing pin-the-tail on the donkey with a blindfold on.
Sometimes I wonder if it's me. Am I driving them away? Are my expectations too high for normal human interaction? Did that last question come out wrong somehow?
Is my expectation of not speaking of my daughter like she's the class ho too much?
Is it okay to say that Jewish people aren't really Jewish and can't be my friends?
Am I a doubter for not believing in a brother who says he's the new Messiah?
Is it okay to push Creationism at family gatherings?
Should I bow to the manly authoritative tone aimed directly at me?
It would be nice to say that we can still set aside our differences and get together for Christmas, but I do believe that would turn into a debate on where I came from, because I am NOT one of them. I am the blacksheep in a world full of men. We all know why.
I'm not playing anymore and I'm okay with that.